"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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