I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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