operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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