in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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