remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize