i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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