How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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