i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
