I seem to have left my pride at pride
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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