She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
