Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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