He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I've blown a few things in my day
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
