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i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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