there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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