So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
