we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
