You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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