So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
