How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize