I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize