Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
