Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
