i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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