I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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