I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
