You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
