FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
