He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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