Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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