Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
