My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
