So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
