So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
