Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize