I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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