sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
