He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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