I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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