just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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