Midget sex pt 2 tonight
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
