Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
