okay pat passed out under dana's car
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize