Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
