She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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