There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
