you traded sex for a burrito?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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