i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
