I just cut my nipple shaving
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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