we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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