They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
