idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
