): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
