he thought i was a dude.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
