my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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