I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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