Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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