Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize